The side of me that is petulant and cranky sometimes falls victim to the surprisingly sinister side of me that is hopeful and naive. No idea what goes on between those two, but sometimes Cranky McPetulantPants zonks out and Hopeful Naivety is in charge. And that's when we collect quotes.
I've started to typeset them so that they make soothing wallpapers for my computer. And when I found that you can set up a slideshow that changes your wallpaper - I was as happy as a meat-eater living in a vegan camp after all the world's foliage has gone extinct.
So, just in case you have a 1920x1080 monitor, I offer you some of these files. If you can't figure out how to setup the slideshow by your own damn self, well, try googling it. And then ask that weird guy in your family that does computer stuff. If all that fails, I will assist on the condition that you help me find my eyeballs after I have rolled them out of my head.
Bipolar? More like bi-awesome.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Touched and Felt
Up and Down, a Bobbing Tale
Woke up feeling like, at least, a fifth of a million bucks. Usually I hover around a buck fifty.
Whirlwinded my way through some of my backlog: laundry, ant eviction, dental hygiene . . . but I began to fade in mid-afternoon. Now here I am - in front of my digital time-suck.
So - was that a cycle? Where the hell did that burst come from? How do I go from Mighty Getter-Donner to the little pile of Unable in which I currently reside?
Is it the drugs? Is this something that is going to happen from now on? How the hell I am supposed to keep up my ant offensive if I slide back into ennui every 12 hours? Bullshit, I tell you. Pure, high-grade, oven-roasted bullshit.
I had to withdraw from an election today, and not just because I have medieval views on the rights of women, but because I don't think I'm in any shape to be around productive humans just yet.
Not sure what I'm hoping for. A sign? A guarantee of improvement? Four horsemen? No idea.
Whirlwinded my way through some of my backlog: laundry, ant eviction, dental hygiene . . . but I began to fade in mid-afternoon. Now here I am - in front of my digital time-suck.
So - was that a cycle? Where the hell did that burst come from? How do I go from Mighty Getter-Donner to the little pile of Unable in which I currently reside?
Is it the drugs? Is this something that is going to happen from now on? How the hell I am supposed to keep up my ant offensive if I slide back into ennui every 12 hours? Bullshit, I tell you. Pure, high-grade, oven-roasted bullshit.
I had to withdraw from an election today, and not just because I have medieval views on the rights of women, but because I don't think I'm in any shape to be around productive humans just yet.
Not sure what I'm hoping for. A sign? A guarantee of improvement? Four horsemen? No idea.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Fuck Bipolar
Yeah, I said it. Fuck bipolar and the horse it rode in on.
I was just getting used to the whole "Hey, Lottie - you have ADD!" and now they're all, "our bad . . . you're bipolar. Tee hee!"
Pfft. ADD . . . bipolar . . . tennis elbow. My brain is a huge heaping pile of fail, got it.
No, I'm not glad that I finally have a name for what's wrong with me. No, I'm not relieved that there are meds to help clear out the crazy bats in my head. No, I refuse to look at myself as exceptional or unique. I'm pissed off is what I am.
I've just been told that I'm always going to have this sluggish, stupid, and useless piece of baggage floating around in my head no matter what I do. Sure, I can take medicine that keeps him locked up in the attic with all of the squirrels and rabbits, but he's gonna escape every now and then. It'll probably be the rabbits, lord knows they're pretty slutty when it comes to bribes.
I was just getting used to the whole "Hey, Lottie - you have ADD!" and now they're all, "our bad . . . you're bipolar. Tee hee!"
Pfft. ADD . . . bipolar . . . tennis elbow. My brain is a huge heaping pile of fail, got it.
No, I'm not glad that I finally have a name for what's wrong with me. No, I'm not relieved that there are meds to help clear out the crazy bats in my head. No, I refuse to look at myself as exceptional or unique. I'm pissed off is what I am.
I've just been told that I'm always going to have this sluggish, stupid, and useless piece of baggage floating around in my head no matter what I do. Sure, I can take medicine that keeps him locked up in the attic with all of the squirrels and rabbits, but he's gonna escape every now and then. It'll probably be the rabbits, lord knows they're pretty slutty when it comes to bribes.
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